"Commisar" Phils Journal of exploits

Today has been interesting.

I have for a little while been... uncomfortable with certain aspects of the Catholic Church, and have been struggling with the problem that its morality and my morality dont currently stack up, and why is it I dont think a cirtain way about things I aught to think a cirtain way about. I hasten to point out, I have no desire to do anything objectively evil, like mount the heads of my enamys on pikes outside my home, its some of the various subjective points I am haveing trouble with.

Then there was a conversation at breakfast were my Mother, who is supposed to be the religious one, expressed views like "I don't beleave in sin" which lead me to the conclusion of why am I the one beating myself up about the minute of this stuff.

There was now enough doubt in my mind over various things that I didnt feel comfortable takeing the sacrament, and equally, I didnt want to go to church, not go up for communion, and have all the peaple looking at me and wondering why.

I expressed this view. My Mother went apeshit.

My Father was annoyed, not because he has any religous conviction, but because I had made my mother apeshit, and he was going to have to deal with it.


Fun.

39 questions about 2009

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
I Graduated.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I dont think I made any real ones last year, but I seem to have done so for this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Well, my Cousin John-Paul, but we were only close in a biological sence. I think I had met the chap all of once.

5. What countries did you visit?
I didnt this year. Too old for Family holidays and not ritch enough to go on them myself, realy.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Purpouse

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Dates dont etch themselves upon my memory no matter how hard they might want to. There are a few days I can remember in vivid clarity, but not the numerical reference code attached to them.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Degree

9. What was your biggest failure?
Probably a verity of Failed job interviews.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
More then my fair share of colds and flues this year it feels like. Nothing terrible.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
uhh Baught for me would be my nice new PS3. Actually baught for myself... I dunno. Did I buy my new leather jacket this year, or was that last year. My memory is bad.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
They know who they are and they know why. Saying it here is only going to cause intregue.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Well see, I'f I'm relucant to publicly praise peaple then logicly... but there is an individual whos antics have driven me to the occasional phycotic fits of angush and rage.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Driveing Lessons, Beer, things I wanted but didnt need.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The only thing that sticks in my mind is Codex Imperial Guard. Though, infact I hardly use my gaurd army due to logistics issues. But I got realy excited about the rules comeing out.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Rammstein - Roter Sand. Best song on the Album In my Humble Opinion.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? About the same.
b) thinner or fatter? About the same.
c) richer or poorer? A little poorer in real terms.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Doing the right thing.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Considering what the right thing to do might be.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
I sat in my house and looked at my parents. Later there was Doctor Who.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Not in 2009.

22. How many one-night stands?
No

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Boston Legal. Even though it finished in 08. I was just late to the party.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope.

25. What was the best book you read?
Its been a slow year for reading. Dunno why.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I stole some Led Zeppelin off someone at the Hut. Talk about being late to partys.

27. What did you want and get?
A degree

28. What did you want and not get?
Gainfull employment

29. What was your favourite film of this year?
Probably Star Trek, though The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus was pretty awesome. (I'll just leave this here)

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
23. I ran an RPG. Then I went to Witherspoons... Then I dont know, more alchol. There was also cake.

31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
The second thing to cross my mind, is a good job.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
I needed a new leather jacket.

33. What kept you sane?
Three very good friends of mine and a man named Jameson.. With an Honerable mention to Tequila.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
What?

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
BNP Apparently represent the North West. This is interesting.

36. Who did you miss?
No one who didnt come back.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
I didnt meet millions of new peaple. Either Jamie the Noob or Kris the Dentist.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
Yoda was wrong, sometimes the fact that you tryed at all seems to count for a lot.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Dammit, I cant be bothered. I hate song lyric questions.

Imagine a quoted something from Gilbert and Sullivan, I usually do.

This Year I plan to:
1. Pass Driving Test
2. Aquuire car
3. Aquire a Job.
4. Move back out of the perental home, perminantly.
5. Get a Badass gmaeing lapotop.

This Decade I plan to:
Planning this longterm makes my brain hurt since there are too many variables that I dont know about...but:
1. Own a well stocked liquor cabinate.
2. Own a Sultan Gameing table :D
3. Not loose touch with any of the good friends I have now.
4. Find the optimum level of happyness within the confinds of reality, rather then constently seeking to revise reality.
5. Still get time for Weekly 40k and Weekly RPG, inspite of haveing a job and things. ( I dont manage this NOW, but Its still something to aim for)

Merry Christmas everyone, hope everyone is haveing a good time wereever they are and whatever it is there doing.

Just found some time in between the present getting step and then going to Church step.

Oh, Speaking of presents, I have aquired the following material items:

1/ A Rather spiffing Keychain LED torch thing of a Rather Robust and High quality nature. That looks to be rather usefull for investigateing the inside of PC's and the like.

2/ The now near-obligatory bottle of Jamesons 12 Year Whiskey, which will keep my brain nicely oiled for another year.

3/ The now near-obligatory Spooks DVD, because my perents want to watch it too. Though, Lord knows what they do if the BBC ever stops makeing the darn things.

4/ Rather worryingly, a Copy of Machivelli's The Prince. Which, is admittedly a book I have allways ment to read and have never gotten around to buying... but I'm not quite sure what to make of being baught what is essentally a Nutral Evil Manual entirely unbidden.

5/ A Top Gear Powerslideing Remote control GTR. Which is amuseing Tat to play with today, mainly.

6/ £60


I also seem to be in possesion of a none-to-festive headcold.

Anyway, must dash.

Funk as in "Feeling down in the dumps, sort of lazy, edgy or irritable, but without justifiable cause"
Rather then Funk as in " A style of R&B music whose artists include James Brown, Parliament-Funkadelic (aka P-Funk) and Red Hot Chili Peppers."

Just to be clear.

LAN party at Chris's was good. Some Hickups...

Hiccup the first: Steves PC couldent run or be made to run Call of Duty 4,2. Since the graphics card braught to be lent to him was PCIe, and his Mobo AGP... Incorrectly identified as AGP by stv.

Hiccup the second: Gaz's PC very nearly died, and then he let me go through all the trouble of helping him diagnose the problem, only to reveal it was "That dodgy SATA header that he knew was dodgy anyway" crisis averted.

Hicup the third: Gaz's and Mikes PC's refused to run TA.

Still, the LAN was good.

Games played were CoD42, RA3 and TA. So, infact none of the games involved all eight peaple playing at the same time.

Uhm, RA3 tended to be two games of four and simmilar. Which was good fun. I'm not as terrible as I used to be at that game, so theres still no counter for rocket angels.

CoD 4,2 Was quite good. I didnt do so well. Well, reliably middle of the scorebored ish, but it was good fun. Whats realy of note is that the "I have been playing forever to get all the unlocks" peaple didnt totally dominate... I actually remember gaz getting some stupid leads in a number of rounds, and he was comparable to me in rank. So, that was that potentall annoyance dodged.

TA was good to play again though we didnt realy get what I would consider to be an entire long game.


Would have been good to play some TF2, which didnt get played due to peaple prefering COD4,2 and some Wolf II, which I didnt even suggest, knowing Steves PC couldent run it.

Tentative plans exist for NATO LAN II in Easter.



But, now the LAN is done with.... well. I came home, went to sleep. Got up at about 11. And Now I'm Depressed. I mean. Its normal, My brain has been used to Sugar, Caffine and Social stimulus for the last 24 hours. And now its sitting in the dark and cold hunched over a laptop writeing a Live Journal entry of intrest to no one at all.


But somehow, the cries from the rational half of my brain saying "this is normal" dont drown out the cries of "Everythings a bit shit" from the other half.


I mean I seem to have decided to fixsate on the fact that I seem to strive for impossible things. Which are impossible. It's like how I should just knuckle down and get a crap job in a shop or a supermarket or something, instead of just continueally applying for the kinds of job I actually want to do and wasteing time other wise.

Even in a more general sence, I seem to spend a good 99% of my time hopeing for some laughably impossible set of senarios leading to some kind of perfect confluance of circamsdances, rather then, infact just getting on with the task in Hand, whatever that might be.


'Cause, Its basicly Christmas. So the temptation is simply to loose oneself in the sort of annual cycle of eating and drinking too much, getting presents, feeling slightly sick and watching Doctor Who and worrying about nothing, because thats what peaple do. But at the same time, is that just an excuse for not simply getting on with shit. I dont know.


I think I'm going to attempt the impossible and go back to bed and sleep off this strange chemicly induced misery.

I am forced to wonder how much of how I feel right now is ordinarily repressed things that are basicly valid, and how much just meaningless drivel and bunkum cooked up be a sleep deprived caffine addled sugar crashing overly stimulated mind.

Still, in the spirit of just getting on with things

I had a vuage fancy to go to the pub Monday Evening, Since we didnt get to go on Sunday, and some peaple must still be around in Liverpool, whilst additionally Steve is back.

However, In theyory I was potentally haveing a driveing lesson on Tuesday morning, but now my instructor crashed on Friday, was going to phone me O'er the weekend but hasent. I dont know. Uhm. I'll deal with this tommorow anyway, right now I dont even know if going to the pub is a good idea. But then, I'm notin my my right mind.

If you think its a good or bad idea, poke me on MSN in the Morning.


Cause no one will, I doubt anyones even read this far to begin with.

Wow, I seem to be starting to sound like Marvin.

I realy must get to sleep, mustent I. Everything will seem perfectly fine in the morning. I'm sure.

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! Last Friday I gave ouroboros13 a life-saving blood transfusion (50 points). In November I bought porn for derengelisrafel (10 points). In January I put money in otaku_aron's expired parking meter (14 points). In August I caught a purse-snatcher who stole sunny_bexster's purse (30 points). Last Wednesday I helped perfectionismxx see the light (8 points). Overall, I've been nice (112 points). For Christmas I deserve a red Radio-Flyer wagon! Sincerely, Commisar

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

Randomly generated meme is randomly generated.

Ten years ago I...(1999).
1. Got sorted into the Top Maths set, which felt like an achievement at the time.
2. Had allready been a Warhammer player for like three years. Some Habbits die hard.
3. Allready knew that I wanted to be a Computer Guy.
4. Allready knew the chap who's still my best friend.
5. Had a Steel pin surgicly insirted into my right ankle, and missed a whole pile of shcool.

Seven years ago I: (2002)
1. Was so very pleased to be rid of terrible subjects I couldent do like Music and Spanish.
2. Fell down a concrete fire escape.
3. Baught my first Leather Jacket.
4.Became interested in Anime, and realy far too interested in Neon Genesis Evangelion.
5. Bunked off school for the second time ever to go watch Lord of the Rings, the Two Towers. (Guess what the first time was for)

Five years ago I: (2004)
1. Spent an awfull lot of time playing Cribbage with Halibut in the Sixth Form common room.
2. Was failing 3 out of 4 A-levels
3. Developed my taste for Real Ale
4. Went Drinking in the Ridger.
5. Should have taken my Dads advice about A-levels.

Three years ago I: (2006) ( I seem to be realy talking about academic year 05-06)
1. Had been liveing away from my perents for a little while.
2. Hung out with Gaz and Child Support James after Games Workshop every tuesday.
3. Went the Casino for the very first time.
4. Ran a Red Dwarf RPG in my Halls Kitchen -just- to annoy the other peaple who lived on my coridoor.
5. Met Dave, Aron, Neil, Mike, Evil and Izzy.

Two years ago I: (2007) ( I seem realy to be talking about academic year 06-07)
1. Founded the Liverpool Univercity Cult TV Soc.
2. Allmost entirely becasue of this, met some incredably awesome peaple. Some less awesome peaple talked during the A-team into and had to be threatened with Iron Bars. Over all though, an Epic Sucsess.
3. Moved in with Dave and Evil.
4. My Interest in Anime Waned hopelessly, and I stopped attending there socity.
5. Became a drunk.

One year ago I: (2008) (Again, excuse me for talking mainly about academic year 07-08)
1. Replaced Dave with Gaz and Rob.
2. Began to loose my grip on my neatly ordered reality in a way which has snowballed, and now thretens to crush what remains on my frigile handle on sanity.
3. Failed to get a degree at the right time oweing largely to spending too much time in the pub.
4. Went on a Road trips. To Auchinawa, (were I spent most of my time in the Bar, and am responsible for intoduceing Gaz to Scotland peaple) And to Lenton (Were we went around GW HQ, and then ran into Manager Steve in Bugmans Bar)
5. Developed an addiction to Scouse Pizzas.

Now I'm adding a section for what was effictively acdemic year 08-09. I care not that it wasent in the original Meme.

1. Attended every GazLAN
2. Finally attained my Degree
3. Spent a lot of time in Gaz's House, or a cirtain kitchen.
4. Tuesdays became as awesome as they were in the era of Child Support James, just in diffrrent ways.
5. Started to learn to drive, not before time.

Yesterday, I:
1. Spent most of the day trying to fix 'Len's Laptop, only to have it all fail again at the last minute.
2. Watched the whole first series of ‘Look Around You’. (I'll just leave this here)
3. Missed Dinner, and forgot to go to Tescos during Cult TV.
4. Rode a bus home with simon, and learned things about his job.
5. Was tired, but has no buissness being so.

Today, I:
1. Finished my second play through of Dragon Age. So you -can- wind up being King, if you play it right.
2. Ate a Spam sandwhich.
3. Had a Shower
4. Filled in this meme
5. Wonder what other peaple are doing right now?

Tomorrow, I:
1. Will sleep till precisely when I feel like it.
2. Will probably play more Dragon Age.
3. Will canvas peaple about going to the Ship on Sunday again.
4. Will probably eat food.
5. Uhh.... will have to go to bed in time to get up for Church?

I have come the conclusion that I need more distractions. A Job would be best. Or I should at least get on with something hobby-ish.

Thinking long enough about reality leads to interesting and terrible theorys. Which in turn lead to hopes and fears about things which are, in all probability never -ever- going to come about.

And once you think something, its there on your mind, until it resolves, which, of cause, it may never do.

I realy need a sandwhich.

Today was allright.

Got up, Driveing lesson, Driveing instructor said it was the best drive I had ever given him. Which is good. Hopefully ready for test soon.

Off to RPG, played a number of rounds of magic with my apparent new friend Kris the Dentist. Who also wanted my Phone number so I can tell him when RPG soc starts up again.

Funny thing is, I dont even know, the Date I posted on my sceduale is extrapolated from when Term starts, But Ben seems quite inistant that RPG soc aught not to run in the Exam period, which... I guess is a point, but then again... I'm fairly sure it used to run through the exam period I seem to remember going to it imidently after a morning exam at least once. Not that I'm saying that peaple need to be the kind of woefully slapdash student I was if they dont want to be, I'm just saying realy that Since the RPG soc commitee dosent actually need to do anything on a week to week basis (unlike Cult TV, for example) surely... peaple can choose to be in the open Rooms, and GM's can decide based on the opinions of there players essentally what weeks they want to Run.... Robs Evening DnD game is shapeing up to have allmost no actuall UoL students in at all. So... I'm not sure exactly who IS going to be in that game. The only person I know that definately wants to be in it is me....

You'd think some kind of Authorative answer might come from predient Gaz, or, you might not think that. I lived in hope. All I actually got was a vuage "Dunno". Cant begurge the man much since he did inform me that Room Bookings for Table Top Tuesdays were in for new Year.

I didnt ask him what time, or what was finally decided about Terrain. And I can only hope then Ben and Chris'es lack of desire to play 40k subsides. Buuut. It is at least a step in the right Direction.


So, Magic with Kris the Dentist was allright. Well, except for the fact that Brother of Creepy Jason was playing, and Brother of Creepy Jason was brasenly cheating, by taping his mana sort of 45 degrees, muddleing it around slightly and putting whatever cards he liked on the table. But y'know. Its an experiance.

He didnt win anyway.

Then, Chaos in the old world with Rob, Ben and Chris. I have come to the conclution that nurgle is decidedly weak. I know I did well last time I was playing, but thats becasue I was inadventently cheating, and scoreing Dial Advancement off of unpopulous regions. I think Slaanesh and T'zeech were both helped a lot by the inital placement of Warpstone and Noble tokens in clusters.... but it was a fun fun game.

Then I ran my game, Minus both Borat and Helen, because apparently Situations were peaple have to miss your game are another of those things that are like busses.

I mean. Both good reasons, I hold no recriminations, I just curse the RFDL that means I had to loose two players on the same darn day.

Still, my party were taken to a Fudal World, obstensibly to drop off an NPC they had captured but didnt want to kill becasue now there the nice inquisition, when the Mad Astropath wandered off with the NPC-PC's and the remaining players had to do a quest for a King to get in to see them, and another Noteable NPC.

Quest involved a Doungen, and peaple fighting with Swords, and a coridoor full of traps Includeing swinging axe traps, flame traps, Rolling Crushing giant Boulder traps, Spiral staircase turns into a slide traps AND slowly encloseing spiked wall traps.

Thaught for the day :: Sisters of Battle make poor Robes.

Rob's Sister of battle infact finally gained a corruption point after many attempts to hit on Taven Wenches, by finally allowing a leacherous pesent man to have a jolly good fondle of her exposed boobs, apparently just for fun.

All this Amid Steves Preists Cries of "But your Supposed to be a Nun!!"

Ah, still. Less dysfunctional then Fricossay De Burgh.

Anyway.

Cult TV on the Morrow and soforth.

I got a new hard drive today. 1.5 TB. So Now I have the fun task of moveing a bunch of things around from various drives so drives with programs installed on them actually have some space.

Christmas is upon us soon, so I am trying to plan my dates and the to ings and frowings of various peaple. However, my information is lacking. If you see something wrong, or, I dont have dates for your leaveing or comeing back, or both, you should totally tell me.

Seems like Chris is haveing a NYE party, which is frankly awesome of him becasue for a while there I thaught I would be without anywere to go at New Years. So, Cheers Chris, your a pile of awesome, On toast, with a hat.

Orange is events, Green is peaple arriveing, Red is peaple Leaveing.


Tuesday 8th
Weds 9th Driveing Lesson, RPG Soc.
Thursday 10th Cult TV Soc
Friday 11th
Saturday 12th
Sunday 13th Church, Pub.

Monday 14th
Tuesday 15th
Wednesday 16th Final RPG Soc
Thursday 17th Final Cult TV Soc
Friday 18th Driveing Lesson
Saturday 19th NATO Lan
Sunday 20th NATO Lan

Monday 21st LAN Recovery. Steve arrives (estimated) Ben and Bex Leave.
Tuesday 22nd Tom Arrives Driving Lesson
Wednesday 23rd Helen Leaves KJ Arrives.
Thursday 24th Christmas Eve, Drinks with the Honerable Six (+ anyone else who wants to come over to the wirral) at the 'Spoons in West Kerby. Potental Hal Arriveal
Friday 25th Christmas Day spent with Family.
Saturday 26th Boxing Day more family.
Sunday 27th Church. Possibly, the Pub? Potental Hal Leaveing. Helen Back (late)

Monday 28th
Tuesday 29th Driving Lesson (Early) Tnetitive Board games at Toms house
Wednesday 30th Hal Arrives Mk II
Thursday 31st NYE Party at Chrises. Tom leaves (Morning) Ben and Bex must be back by now
Friday 1st NYD... Strange public transport liverpool escapeing adventure.
Saturday 2nd Hal Leaves
Sunday 3rd Church

Monday 4th KJ Must have left by nowDriving Lesson
Tuesday 5th
Weds 6th
Thurs 7th
Friday 8th Estimated Steve leave date. Ben + Bex Leave
Saturday 9th
Sunday 10th Church, Pub. Ben and Bex Back

Monday 11th
Tuesday 12th
Wednesday 13th RPG Soc Starts up again
Thursday 14th Cult TV Soc starts up again, Potentally.
Friday 15th
Saturday 16th
Sunday 17th Church, Pub.